When I read this entry from July 9th 2003, it made me tear up. I guess it was my moment of political awakening. Looking back at the old entries, I was not self-conscious at all. I was so honest. Naive but not. Naive in the way I hadn't learnt about the realities of the situation, but also completely clear in what I wanted. I wanted a democratic Hong Kong. At that moment, I was all alone in my room, not knowing anyone what wanted the same. In the subsequent years so much has changed, so many people have joined in to wanting the same. To see all these people standing with each other with the same dreams has been utterly astounding.
July 9th 2003
I started this blog because I wanted to document the steps I made with my art. It's turned out it's recording the changes in me, politically. It's changed so much in just nine days. At first I was just talking about the protest, then I found myself updating the news. And suddenly, I am asking, I am saying something far bigger. I want to vote. Not just 30 seats in our legislator. I want universal suffrage.
I have never ever said, "I wanted democracy for Hong Kong" publicly until I wrote the sentence "The truth is we deserve to rule ourselves," a few days ago at the end of an entry.
When I looked at it, it scared me. It was a scary thought to put in public. I have never heard anyone say it either. For a moment I thought I should delete as quickly as possible, I should pretend I never wrote it. It's far too explosive, it's too far reaching, it's going to piss people off, or it's going to make people not take me seriously. Whose going to listen to a girl, (a woman) who's going off the deep end with saying she thinks Hong Kong people should rule themselves?
I am about to leave for another protest. From what I understand this one really is going to call for democracy. We're gonna ask for it publicly. I am not sure if I understood this correctly, but I think that's what I heard. Even if it's "just" an anti-article 23 protest, I should be there because I don't want myself or anybody else to be put in jail one day because we "called" for democracy, or say whatever we want to say in a public forum.